Thinking of giving up?

 

Just when you think about giving up...

There are times in life when you wonder whether that thing that you're doing is worth it. It takes time and energy that you could be putting elsewhere with more satisfaction and a topping up of your battery rather than a draining of it. And just when you ask yourself whether it is all worth it, there comes some feedback and encouragement that says it is. 

Hang on in there just that little bit longer than you want to, because just as you're thinking of giving up, that is generally the time it starts to pay off. Of course, there are some things that reach the end of their useful life, but hanging on in there for a little longer can bring rewards.

Slow lane

 

The slow lane for me, please!

This last week was full-on for me. I know most people would have sailed through it, enjoying all the socialising. For this severely introverted artist, it was exhausting. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy socialising, but when it's three nights in a row, combined with an extra day at work, and a sewing and printing project that needed to be finished, well... let's just say that I'm glad I get to pause for breath this week. 

I know that lots of people feel that their full calendar is a badge of... I don't know, some sort of status, I guess. But for me it just signals exhaustion. I like the slow lane. I like having space to think. I like solitude. I don't equate success with the amount of 'stuff' I do.

Stamina

Building stamina. It's amazing how doing something new wears you out. 

Doing something new makes your brain work more. You're making new connections, memorising new tasks. The sheer amount of concentration uses up energy. But as you settle into new routines, the pressure eases a bit, and you build some stamina in that new skill/job or whatever. 

Putting in the effort in the beginning is worth it, and although you might feel like you'll never 'get it', it becomes easier as you stick at it.

Sketchbook to canvas

 

I recently watched a set of videos by Kellee Wynne about grid journalling. I pulled out my sketchbook and did a set of grids and wanted to see if I could transfer one of the compositions to a canvas. It's not really something I've done before. I decided I liked this one:

And here is the canvas I produced from it.

As you can see, I didn't use the same palette, but the elements are all there in about the same proportions. 

I often like smaller pieces I make, which are much simpler than my larger pages/canvases, but don't usually scale up. When I work with a larger canvas I tend to make even more marks! I guess I just like to play 😊

Finding my feet

 

When I started my new casual job, it was terrifying. There was so much to learn, and so much responsibility looking after someone else's shop all by myself. Now it's been a few weeks and I'm starting to find my feet.

Isn't this the way with anything new? At the beginning we feel way out of our depth. But if we stick at it, we can find our feet and maybe even start to enjoy ourselves. So face the fear and push on through. The rewards are worth it. 

And in other work - I think this canvas may be finished. Gonna let it sit for a few days and see how I feel about it.

Face canvas

She faced the world head-on.

This is my newest canvas which just cried out for a face, so I put one on it :) It doesn't fit with any of the other canvases I've done recently, but it was what I wanted to paint so I went with it.

And for those introverts among you, here is a gift my husband bought for me. It's a yarn holder to stop my ball of yarn from rolling around when I knit. And the sentiment is one I feel quite often.

Service

A life of service.

Queen Elizabeth II was not born expecting to be queen, but when her life took that unexpected turn, she rose to the challenge and dedicated her life to the role. 

How do you face those unexpected turns in the road? 

Branching out

 

Branching out - it doesn't hurt to try new things.

Some people do one thing extremely well. It's their thing and what they are well known for. Others have many strings to their bow. I come into the second category. I just love to make things, especially if I can do it from scratch. For instance, I like to make books, and it's even better when I've patterned my own paper and fabric for it, or made the paper myself. So I try new things. Sometimes I find they're not for me, but I don't think of this as wasted time as there is always something to learn and that might be applicable to other things. 

Some branches will be longer than others and some have many offshoots. Some get pruned out after a while and others become foundational for the whole tree. But unless you try those new things, how will you know if you're any good at them, or if they feed your wellbeing?

Books

 

A book is a device to ignite the imagination - Alan Bennett

At the moment I am reading the third book in the Morrigan Crow series. It's a book for children in the same way that Harry Potter is - in other words, adults can definitely enjoy it too. I read the first book and then reserved the next two at the library. I shall be buying them as soon as I am back in the bookshop, and eagerly await the fourth one which isn't out for a WHOLE YEAR! How will I wait that long? I recommended it to my grown up child, who loves it and has recommended it to someone else, who is also loving it. So this is my shout out for Jessica Townsend, who has created a wonderful whimsical world that comes to life and draws you in and makes you laugh aloud when you are not tense with the peril of it all. 

Imagination definitely ignited :)

Expectations

What others expect of us.

We all know that other people put expectations on us. Sometimes we live up to them and sometimes we don't. When we don't live up to expectations, there is disappointment - theirs and maybe our own as well. But the question to ask is: do they have a right to expect things of us? Who do we feel an obligation to and on what basis? 

As I grow older I feel less pressure to live up to the expectations of others, less pressure to please. I have more of an idea of whose opinion matters and whose doesn't. There are people I'm happy to 'let down' because they have no basis to have expectations of or feel disappointment in me.