So fed up!

 

So fed up that now that menopause is finally being talked about, the 'wellness' industry is muscling in and telling me that I can have the body I had at 40.

I'm sick of seeing ads of muscle-bound 50, 60, and 70 year olds telling me that Tai chi walking is the best thing; that I can lose menopause belly fat by eating large amounts of protein; that it isn't okay to look the way I do at 57, which is a bit softer, a bit rounder than 10 years ago. 

I lift weights, I walk, I eat a diet containing a wide range of foods that I cook myself. My body is getting older, just as yours is, and there is no shame in a changing shape. You cannot stop time and nor should you wish to. 

Haven't women had enough body-shaming up to their 40s without it chasing them into their 50s, when bodies are changing so much on the inside that it's all you can do to hold it all together some days? 

Embrace your aging body - it has carried you this far, gone through puberty, cycles of hormones, maybe pregnancy, and now another change with a whole range of uncomfortable symptoms. It's your body, and no-one else's business.

Play with water-soluble graphite

 

I've been playing with water-soluble graphite sticks this week. The piece above is my favourite. I made it while letting my mind wander a bit. The lines started as abstract squiggles and then formed a face. The lines themselves aren't the sort of lines I would usually use to make a drawing of a face. They don't aim to catch a particular line accurately - they're just scribbles, really - but they still tell our brain that it's a face. It set me thinking about how far one can abstract a face and still read it as a face. 

This one was the first using the graphite. I drew a face and then sprayed it with water. I wasn't happy with how the lines looked amongst the pools of grey, so I wiped a lot of it off and went back in with more lines.

They're darker than the other pieces because the paper was still wet when I drew the second lot of lines. 

This one was the second one in the series and  again has some of the more usual lines, but also wiped with water for shading. I found that just wiping over the lines with water made dark lines in a wash of pale grey, and wasn't the effect I was looking for. Maybe loading a wet brush with the graphite will be a better option. 

The three below came after my favourite, and are the experimental lines without water. It seems that the brain likes to find faces in even the simplest of lines.

Different wavelengths

 

It's difficult to communicate when you're on different wavelengths.

Miscommunication is easy, especially when you're coming at things from a different angle from the person you're trying to communicate with. It can feel like being on trains on parallel tracks, moving alongside one another in the same direction for a while, but never arriving at the same place.

We have to work hard at understanding where someone else is 'coming from' if we want to communicate well with them. Getting to know people, their culture, their history, can help us in this endeavour.

Full diary

When the diary fills up.

This piece felt a bit full with lots of different things, reminding me of how it feels when there is a little too much going on. Some of the colours became muddied, just like I feel when there is too much on my plate and things start to merge together. 

And this one below is a ten minute 'sketch' of frustration. 

Bold

 

I've been enjoying working on paper larger than my usual journal size recently. These are loose sheets of paper and I've taped off the border and then had fun splashing the paint around. It's amazing how different a border can make things look. Peeling off the tape after finishing a page is such great fun as the work suddenly feels deeper, as if it goes back into the page. 

The bold strokes on this page are done with a wider brush - another departure from in my journal. Plus there is a lot of brayer work in the background layers. I'm not sure where these pieces are going at the moment, so I'm just enjoying the play.

Loud and urgent

 

Loud and urgent are not the same as important and useful.

Lots of things are loud in our life, all shouting for our attention. All that noise can make it seem like these things are urgent, but are they really? When the noise is coming from all directions it can be difficult to single out those things that are truly important from the drama queens and kings. 

Most things don't need to be dealt with immediately. There is time to take a breath and really listen to work out what is important and useful. Yes, the urgent needs to be seen to in good time, but a few seconds to triage is time well spent.

Tradition, and mixed media work for sale

Tradition - peer pressure from dead people.

I saw this on someone's instagram post and it made me laugh. As a clergy wife I hit the 'tradition' argument quite a lot. 'But we've always done it this way' doesn't mean it's the best, most convenient, or most efficient way to do things. Often it really isn't any of those things, it's just the most comfortable because it is familiar. Familiar and comfortable is all very well, but it doesn't always allow for growth.

And something that is new for me, and an area of growth as I learned a new process - I have some pieces for sale at shopsala.com.au 

 

Still growing

 

Through wind and storm, still we grow.

We are going through a heatwave here in Adelaide at the moment, but things are still growing.  It's not just the heat but the strong winds that go with it, drying foliage and sucking fruits dry. Making sure to water early in the morning and sometimes at night as well keeps those plants going that are going to feed me. 

The same is true for ourselves. When the storm comes up and the wind blows, we need to make sure to 'water' ourselves so that we survive and still grow. It can be easy to neglect ourselves when things are turbulent, but that is the time when we need watering the most. 

Growth is always possible, even in difficult circumstances.

Straitjackets

 When you've worn a straitjacket for so long, you don't realise how hampered you are.

We get used to our circumstances and to the restrictions that may be on us. We get used to doing things the way we've always done them. It isn't until someone new comes along who questions the way things are being done that we might see our way to a new freedom - if we're prepared to listen. 

Unfortunately, we sometimes decide to cling on to the straitjacket because we have grown comfortable in it. Anyone looking in from the outside finds it difficult to understand why you're not delighted to divest yourself of the straitjacket and relish the new freedom of movement. 

Doing new things can be scary, but staying as we are is stagnation. 

Anticipation

 

Often the anticipation is worse than the actuality.

How many times have you not been looking forward to something, rehearsing it in your mind, preparing possible responses, only to find that it goes much better than you thought? How much energy do we waste in this worrying?

Maybe there's a better way.