A big piece on paper

 

I wanted to work on a bigger piece than I can in my art journal, so I pulled out a piece of 230gsm paper in A3 size and taped it off to make a border. Somehow the piece feels more 'professional' if it has a border :)

Then I got to work. Of course, it went through a hot-mess middle phase, but I think I've managed to pull it back to something reasonable. I really like the dark patches that give it a depth. I'm still putting on patches of white, like clouds, but they are smaller than in my series of paintings. Maybe I'm moving on to the next thing, whatever that is. Anyway, there are lots of interesting (to me) bits that I want to explore more, like the pattern left when you apply paint that goes on with varied thickness, and then scrape it off after some of it has dried. I'm sure some of that will be turning up on my journal pages soon.

Tired

 

Tired.

Those hours awake at night for several days in a row. And then proper sleep again. 

It just leaves you a little tired.

Happenings

 

Those unexpected happenings.

So, it's been a bit of a week! Lots of unexpected happenings, starting with that 7am text asking me if I could go in to work on a day I wasn't expecting because the boss was unwell. That was Tuesday.

Then on Wednesday - when she was back again - a car drove into the shop window and buckling the doorframe:

No-one was hurt, thankfully - just people shaken up. We now have a 'wooden feature wall' instead of a window in the bookshop, but at least there is another door we can use. And we'll be moving to new premises in a few months. 

Then on Thursday there was the bunting-making for the parish's 150th anniversary that ended up happening at our house because both church areas we could have used were being used by someone else. Introverts out there will know that unexpected 'invasions' of your space are energy-sapping.

Friday my husband invited the bishop and her husband for lunch on Sunday following the Confirmation Service, and we were also having friends round for dinner on the Saturday night. I started to conserve my energy.

On Saturday morning the confirmations were called off because the bishop was unwell. So there was then the updating of the service order, letting people know that what we thought was going to happen wasn't going to now. Then finding a new date for it all that suits everyone (and now coincides with a 100th birthday party...)

And I've just learned that, with all the rain we've had recently, there has been a landslide on the railway track so our child (grown-up, but non-binary, so what's a good word for that? We're roadtesting 'offspring' at the moment and they like that) is having to use the substitute bus service to get to their DnD meet-up. As they are also neuro-divergent, this is more of an event than you might think. 

So, navigating those unexpected happenings - they are like the white circles on this page, pushing in on the strung together black circles of my planning for the week. They push their way in, but all the rest still gets done. 

And I wonder why I'm a bit tired this afternoon...

Frame

 

Pull back to see the whole picture.

When I stepped back from this page I couldn't help but see a frame right in the middle, formed by those drips. It made me think about how sometimes we become so focussed on something that we fail to see anything else. What is in the 'frame' on this page is more or less plain paper. There is much more interest going on around it than in it. When we become so focussed on one way of doing things we miss new and exciting options. Step back and take in the whole picture.

One of the reasons I haven't posted as much recently is because I have been 'painting with yarn'. I found some wonderful yarn in our local shop that I just had to have. It has all the colours I often use together, and the colours blend from one to another making it very much like one of my paintings. I find myself fascinated with the way one colour blends into another along my needle. Yes, I am one of those people who arranges their neocolors into a rainbow in the box :) I just love that raspberry colour next to the teal, and how it blends to orange and through green. Just yummy.

Ladder

 

Climbing up or climbing down?

Do you need to rise to something or back down from it?

Aspiring or humbling?

There are always choices.

Patience

 

Patience is not passive waiting.

Patience is waiting in hope, in anticipation, in readiness, in peacefulness.

Passive waiting means we have absented ourselves from our own lives, not caring what happens. Patience knows that waiting is a necessary part of growth. Patience cares about what happens but also knows that timing is important. Without the wait we may not have the resources, the right trajectory, the proper focus.

So when you're spending time waiting, don't do it impatiently or passively, but know that it is preparation time. 

Anchored

 

Anchored. It's what we need to be when we feel like we're adrift. I couldn't help but see rushing water on this page, plunging down the centre of a ravine. 

It's easy to feel adrift, but we all have anchors. For me I have faith, my family, creativity. They all remind me of who I am and what I'm about. I might be drifting for a season with no particular place to go, but I will never drift far because, even if the ropes are long, they are still attached to anchors.

What are your anchor points?

The 'spotty' parts towards the top of this photo are from the reaction between iron oxide ink and acrylic paint. Must explore further...

Those little bits

 

It's been a busy week so I haven't posted until today. It's how it goes sometimes. There have been other creative endeavours happening instead of journalling.

This one has been sitting on my easel for a few days and I think it's done. I particularly like the white marks on the black, and the new colours that are made when you scrape one over another in thin layers. More experimentation needed, I think.

Decisions

When the decision is made for you.

There are times in life where the decision is taken out of your hands. Someone else decides and you have to live with the consequences. It happened to us this week when our bank decided something that we have no say in but has a large effect on us.

Unfortunately this type of decision-making has happened for decades for some groups of people with no reference to them, their opinions, their desires, or how their culture will be affected. Let's not be the kind of people who take away the precious voice of others. Let's speak up for those without a voice.

 

Pushing

What's that thing pushing on your mind and giving you butterflies in your stomach?

As usual, I worked intuitively on this page, putting down whatever felt right until it was done. Then writing the words that it inspired. Hmmm. That's a couple of pages recently that talk of dreams. I need to sit with this for a bit.

Do you find themes coming through in your journal? It's one of the things that I look for to find out what is going on inside of me. It's not always obvious, but when I put colour and shape on the page, it can become clearer.