Brain fog

 

It's not the first time I've blogged about brain fog, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's just so frustrating to reach for a word and it's just not there, even though you can give a full description of what you are thinking of ('alpaca' was the last instance - I could see it, I could tell you what animals it was related to, but I couldn't think of the word itself). 

I encourage myself by looking at all the older-than-me ladies around me who are flourishing. There is hope!

Jaded?

Don't become so jaded that you can no longer be surprised. 

I recently went through a situation where I was expecting some pushback, but it didn't come. It was pleasantly surprising. As a vicar's wife, there isn't a lot that will shock me, but it is nice to be surprised on occasion.

Influence

What exerts influence on you? 

What do you allow to move you one way or another? Are you easily swayed by the opinions of others?

If you're aware of what influences you, you can make sure to make allowances, to ask questions, to resist when you need to. If those influences are for the good, then listen. If they're not, move as far away as you can. 

And here are a couple of things I've worked on in the last week.

Grow or die

 

Change is inevitable - grow or die.

It sounds harsh, but all growth is change.  It may be slow or it may be fast, depending on the season we are in, but wherever we're at, we don't stay the same. We can't. If we stop changing we're stagnant or dead. So embrace change.

Forest of emotion

Can't see the wood for the trees. Emotions swirl and get in the way.

This page was so busy and felt quite emotional, but I really felt the pull to put some trees on there. When emotions are high we don't always think clearly. It may be necessary to put aside our feelings to see things as they really are and make better decisions. Not that emotions are bad, and we should definitely realise what our feelings are and acknowledge them, but in the heat of the moment we don't think clearly.

On distant shores

On distant shores.

I've been away for a bit because family have been visiting - for four weeks - and I needed some time to recuperate afterwards!

Getting older and seeing parents getting older is always confronting, especially when you've only seen them over a screen for a couple of years. Lives carry on miles apart, on distant shores, but the bond of family holds.

 

New series

 

I've been working on a new series, and it is only in the last couple of days that I have realised what they are about, and why little tally marks have been appearing on my pages recently. Does that happen to you? Or do you have an idea going in? In writing it's called plotters and pantsers - those who plot everything, and those who write on the fly. I guess the same is true for visual artists, too. There are those who plan, and those who start and wait to see what happens.

This series is called 'How do we mark our days?' Each canvas started from a black background, but still has my signature bright colours.

And I was successful with an EOI at our local library, for an exhibition called The Open Community Exhibition. Yay for me :). My pieces are displayed in a corridor, so this is the best I could do with a photo:

What's important

What's important to you may be trivial to others.  

We all have our pet subjects, but they may not be of interest to others, so don't be surprised when your enthusiasm for something (such as being chosen to exhibit somewhere) means nothing to them. It's disappointing when people don't get behind you on something you enjoy. One way to ameliorate the situation is to find 'your people'. They will be your cheerleaders, and you will be theirs. 

Anyone who isn't behind you just isn't 'your people' for that particular thing.

Tidal

 

The tide comes in.

The tide goes out.

All things pass eventually, even if that 'tide' is a tsunami. 

Control

 

You can only control you.

You cannot control your situation or how others react, so save your energy. Put it into how you react within yourself.

Forgive

Forgive - others and yourself. 

At times it can be so much easier to forgive others than yourself. 

Contentment

 

What does contentment require?

The answer for each of us is different, but it is worth knowing what it is for you. How much is enough? What conditions are best for you? Do you really need 'x'? Sometimes it is necessary to strip things back, to simplify, to bring more contentment.

Here is the latest vase of flowers. I think it is my favourite so far. It feels like the most loose in terms of not trying too hard.

Flowers

 

I'm working on a new series of mixed-media pieces and have hit that 'messy middle' part where I have no idea where they're going and they look too samey. So I've been doing some little flower sketches. The one above is done with acrylics. The one below I posted a few posts ago, done with paint pens, and the bottom one was done a while ago with tissue paper collage and paint.

I shall explore further with a mix of techniques, I think, before going back to my canvases in the hope that some inspiration may have struck by then. I don't think there's a thing called artist's block - just a pause in whatever you are working on that calls for a change of project for a while. 

Stepping stone?

Obstacle or stepping stone? 

It's all a matter of perspective. Some of us come to a stream and try to find a way round; some turn around and go back the other way; some stop, unable to work out what to do next; others cross over. 

What you do next depends on the circumstances, but there are options. 

Ebb and flow

Ebbs and flows. 

We all experience them in all areas of life. We cannot keep up the highs forever. You have to come down the hills and go through the valleys to grow well. Just as walking on the level is good, going up and down, varying your pace, is better for becoming fitter. The valleys can allow us to process and put into practice the things learned at the top of the mountain. Conversely, the things learned at the top of the mountain give us resilience to make it through the valley and out the other side. 

The ebbs give us time to rest.

This is a quick piece done with Arrtx acrylic markers, just having fun playing.

 

Slow life

A quiet life. A slow life. A contemplative life.

In a world of 'faster, busier, more', living a slow life can be seen as somewhat anachronistic. But many things worth doing take time and patience - growing anything, for a start. Making bread. Learning a new skill. Wanting everything immediately sets us up for a lot of disappointment. If you're not prepared to put the work in, to wait when nothing seems to be happening, then you'll give up before the pay-off. Lowering expectations and changing how you measure success can lead to a happier life. 

Rising

"I didn't fall in love. I rose in it." Toni Morrison. 

I know the feeling. I am so much better for loving and being loved by my wonderful husband. I have achieved way more than I could ever have imagined because he encourages me. He believes in my abilities way more than I do myself. He supports my creativity and never belittles me.  My life would have been very different without him in it.

Just begin

Sometimes we just have to begin. We'll make mistakes, start again, learn along the way, but if we keep making excuses and never begin, we won't grow.