Monday, 18 September 2017
On certain paths it is obvious what the next step needs to be. But sometimes we reach the end of one path and the next is not always clear. What are the next steps?
For me, my steps were more or less laid out for a number of years when we decided to homeschool our daughter. It was a great time and I learned a lot. But that ended in December last year and I've spent this year trying to work out what I'm supposed to do next.
I've put out a number of lines, but there's nothing definitive just yet. Each day brings its own set of requirements, but there is nothing long term for me at the moment.
Not knowing the next steps means I have to come to terms with being enough just as I am. You know how it is - the world often judges us on how much we accomplish, how busy we are. One of the first questions we ask of people when we first meet is: what do you do? Hard enough when you're a stay-at-home mum who is homeschooling, but when you're in a liminal place? I can say I'm an artist - which I am - but I'm not earning a living at it. I can say I'm a clergy wife - which I am - but the role is not necessarily understood. When people ask 'what do you do' they're usually asking what you get paid to do. I make a contribution to my household, to my community. My next steps may involve being paid to do something.
But they may not.
And I have to remember that I am enough just as I am, whatever form the next steps take for me.