Contemplating

Contemplating a new thing - to leap or not to leap?

You know that feeling when you're looking at doing something that isn't in your comfort zone or necessarily your skill set? That's where I'm at. I feel like the girl in the top left of this page - peering through the bubbles and the tangled loops trying to make sense of it all and make a wise decision. Thankfully there is no rush so you can be sure I'm praying on it.

Trust yourself to the waters

Sometimes you just have to trust yourself to the waters.

For some reason I felt a real desire to put bulrush tops on the pink 'stalks' so I just went with it. It sent my thoughts to the story of Moses where his mother put him in a basket and trusted him to the waters as a baby to save his life. She had no idea what would happen, but she trusted.

There are times when we have no idea which way to go or what's going to happen. We just have to trust ourselves to the waters.

Temptation

Temptation is subtle.

I used this page to blot off some lime green paint. That made the two circles at top left and bottom right as the very first layer. I didn't realise when I added the piece of collage near the centre, several layers later, that there was a lime circle on it - a stylised apple. It wasn't until I stood back to think about the journalling that I saw it. 

For my Lent reading I have been working through the beatitudes and the sermon on the mount. They highlight, for me, how subtle temptation is: the temptation to self-aggrandizement, selfishness, pride, hubris, judgement, the list goes on. 

Temptation is not always obvious. 

It hardly ever is.

Anxious to plant

I'm anxious to start planting. My raised beds are being filled ready for planting, but I'm also ready to plant life seeds. We've had time to settle in here in this new place. I'm starting to get to know people. I'm looking at how I can serve in the future and what my place might be.

Wheels turning

Waiting for the wheels to turn.

I've just taken the plunge and sent an expression of interest to an exhibition space...

Now I'm waiting.

Will it be a thumbs up or a no thanks?

I'm old enough to know that one rejection doesn't mean I'm rubbish as an artist. I am more resilient than that. Still, it is hard to put yourself out there and then wait.

Changes

Changes. How do you cope with them?

There are some changes that come along because we make decisions.

Other changes we haven't chosen and we have no control over.

The thing to remember is that change means growth. If nothing changes, we have become stagnant. Change may be uncomfortable, but isn't stagnation worse?

Sun or black hole?

Are you a sun or a black hole?

We've all met people who seem to suck the life, the energy out of us, every time we see them. It doesn't matter how 'up' we are feeling when we go to meet with them, we come away feeling drained and fed up. They are black holes.

Then there are others who we look forward to seeing because we always come away buoyed up and energised. They just seem to encourage and edify us no matter what. They are suns, giving light and life.

So what are you - a sun or a black hole?

Where is your focus?

Focus on the good because we remember what we focus on.

You know how it is - someone praises you and someone else says something critical, and the praise evaporates while the criticism goes round and round in your mind for the rest of the day (and, to be honest, sometimes longer).

I'm not saying that we shouldn't listen to criticism at all. There is often a nugget of truth even if the words are delivered in a way that isn't helpful, so it is worth looking at what is said and by whom. After that, take on board anything that is helpful and reject the rest.

Focus on truth.

More canvases

'You are enough just as you are' and 'Busy is not a badge of honour'.

These are the last two of the twenty canvases I bought in preparation for an exhibition. So now I guess there is no excuse... I need to move out of my comfort zone and approach a gallery. It is amazing how scary it is and how easy it would be to tell myself that I don't have enough pieces to have an exhibition. But I do, and it was one of my goals for the year to step out and be brave.

So watch this space.

Doubts

Even those who seem to have it all together have their doubts.

It can feel as if everyone else knows what they are doing and you're the only one who feels all at sea. The thing is, we are all good at wearing masks. We are good at pretending that everything is fine when really we all feel 'imposter syndrome' on occasions. Just because someone looks confident doesn't mean they are.

Everyone has their doubts.

And that's okay.