When hackles rise

When hackles rise, lower the walls.

When you're in a situation where someone is heated and your first instinct is to retaliate, step back. Where possible, take some time to allow things to cool.

Then lower the walls.

Where your instinct is to make the walls higher, to increase the stakes, to take a step that you'll regret, instead, think about how you can lower the walls. Make it easy for both sides to recover the relationship and save face. Make sure that you look at the situation with realistic eyes. For that, it's usually best to remove the emotion, which is where the cooling off period comes in.

Lower walls. Don't build them.

An intentional Advent

We can wait passively, growing weary, becoming stagnant.

But Advent is about waiting intentionally.

We are not just passing time; we are getting ready. Getting ready requires preparation.

A tree in winter can look dead. It's waiting for spring, for favourable weather. But a tree in winter is anything but passive. It isn't just sitting there and waiting. Before it threw away its leaves, the tree drew back in everything that would be useful and left only the toxins and waste to fall away. Part of preparation is getting rid of things that are hindering. But the tree is also pulling in everything it's going to need to burst into new growth as soon as the weather warms up. It is resting but building up energy reserves as well.

The yellow circles on this page stand for networks. We can intentionally build networks while we wait. Just because you're waiting doesn't mean you can't learn from others, that you should withdraw and wait alone. Waiting doesn't have to be a solo sport. Waiting in community builds us all up as we encourage one another, celebrating each other's victories, whether large or small.

Practice intentional waiting.

Half a face

Just having fun with face practice on this journal page. I didn't even find any words for it - though they may come at some point. Just had fun making marks, playing with different media, and enjoying the colour combination.

Sharing with Paint Party Friday.

What does forward look like?

Sometimes, to go forward, you need to make a turn.

So what does forward look like right now? Which direction should I go in in this coming year?

Wait peacefully

Here we are in the second week in Advent, and I'm continuing to contemplate what waiting should look like. 

Wait peacefully.

What does that mean? Well, don't be anxious in the waiting. Don't be fretful or worried. Wait in the quiet assurance that all is in hand, that the time will come for action and you'll recognise it when it comes. I know that this is so, because I've been in a waiting room before, and then I was up and down, constantly looking down the track for the train, even though it wasn't near the time for its arrival. This time, I find that I am waiting with much more peace.

This time I remembered to take some shots of the page in progress. I started with collage, gesso, and a bit of spray through a stencil:

A splash of colour applied with a colour-shaper (a 'brush' made of a solid wedge of rubber):

Yellow ink applied with a baby-wipe:

A bit of stencilling:

More collage:

Washi tape and some water-soluble graphite activated with water:

Some stamped leaves:

Leaves filled in with paint and joined with some dark grey paint:

A bit of doodling and some blobs of paint applied with a gelli-plate. And now the page is ready for journalling, as seen above:

Lessons from the jetty

When we were on holiday on Kangaroo Island recently, I took a walk along the jetty early in the morning. Imagine my surprise to see grass growing there, between wooden boards with no soil and many yards out over the ocean.

It set me to thinking.

If grass can grow on a jetty, in those inhospitable conditions, then surely I must be expected to grow even when conditions don't feel optimal to me. There is no excuse to wither and wilt. It is up to me to find sustenance where I can and use everything presented to me to grow. That growth may come slowly, but it will come if I squeeze as much out of life as I can.

I will be sharing this page at Paint Party Friday. Hop on over there to see all the wonderful work that's been created this week.

Being present

I found this gift tag in my stash. It's circular, so of course I was drawn to it :) and it found its way on to this page.

It made me think about the word present. A present can be another name for a gift. But it can also mean at this time or in this place.

We can be a gift to someone by being in this time and this place; by being fully present with them. When we are seen and heard - and recognise it - it can be a great gift. It shows us that we are loved, cared for, respected.

So let's be that for others.

Let's be present, giving of our time to really listen, to encourage, to be alongside.

Let's be a gift to someone today.

Advent

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent, the first day of the church's (liturgical) year. Although 'advent' means 'arrival', this is really a season of waiting. The arrival doesn't actually happen until Christmas.

I find that Advent is a contemplative season, like Lent. It is a time for slowing down and thinking about what the season is all about. At a time when the world is speeding up and rushing headlong into a bustling season of presents and parties, I like to slow down and wait with expectation.

This has really been a year of waiting for me. My word for the year has been 'continue', but that has turned out to be very similar to 'wait'. Continuing has been about carrying on; about doing what I have already been doing and not pursuing new stuff. I have taken a couple of opportunities that have come my way, but I haven't looked for them.

And the waiting has been productive. I can see an increased complexity in my journal pages that wasn't there a year ago. I had a big chunk of the year where there weren't many words - if any - but they're starting to come back. Sometimes you have to push on through.

Sometimes you have to wait.

So Advent is about waiting... but with expectation.

Eschewing busy-ness

There are seasons in life that are busy, whether we like it or not. I've just come through a busy month. Busy for me, anyway. Now, I know some people thrive on events, parties, spending time with others.

I'm not one of them.

I know this from experience. I am strongly introverted and contemplative. Yes, I like to spend time with friends, but in small groups. Approaching 50, I have learned some things about myself and what I need to do for self-care, and one of those things is to eschew busy-ness where I can. One event a week is enough for me. I know how to pace myself and generally do it well, but this last month just happened to have more in it than I would have liked. It has taken a week to recover, and I am glad to be back in my journal, pottering in my studio, and having some solitude.

Do you love the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? Or do you know that you need to find breathing space?

I shall be sharing this on Paint Party Friday. Check out all the wonderful work that's been created this week.

Taking a breath

It's been a busy month for me: an exhibition, a holiday, a Christmas Fair. Now I'm taking a very necessary breath before heading on into Christmas. The Christmas Fair especially took a lot of energy and kept me away from my journal for a while.

This is not a good thing!

But now it's done, and I'm able to play again. I'm able to take a breath, find a pool of calm, and gather my resources for the busy-ness of the festive season.