Waiting to emerge

Waiting to emerge. Living with hope that the tunnel will end soon.

This page wasn't really going anywhere until I put the swathe of green across the middle. Then I could see the entrance/exit for a tunnel over on the left under the flower. Considering a previous page where tunnels were on my mind, I saw it as an exit. I'm in the tunnel, but hoping that soon I will find the end and emerge. There is hope because the page is bright and colourful. I look forward to emerging from the dark into the light.

Being in the dark in a tunnel is not all bad. A tunnel takes you from one place to another, usually through an obstacle that is too difficult or expensive to go around. I may be in the dark but I'm going somewhere. When I emerge I will be in a new place. At the moment I don't know where that is, but I know I'm moving towards it.

Fingerprints

What thrills your heart? What makes you unique?

When I looked at this page I could see fingerprints and a heartbeat wave. They spoke to me of a person's essential 'them-ness'.

We can think of our fingerprint as being the personal mark we leave on the world; the unique set of skills we have and how we apply them. When we use those skills in conjunction with what thrills our heart, we have found a unique purpose. As I work out who I am (again) I need to think about those things - what are my skills? How can I use them in the way that thrills my heart?

How can I be the best 'me'?

When we are authentic, we present the best we have to the world in a way that is the best for us, too.

Who I am

Working out who I am - again.

Whenever we move house - and we've moved a fair amount - I have to work out who I am again. You have to find your place in a new community and work out how you can contribute in your own unique way. As an introvert, it takes me a long time to do that. We've been in this new place for a year now, and I'm just at the point where I can begin to think about my place here.

Add to that my season of life - I hit 50 last year - and there's a lot to get my head around. There's both internal and external change in my life and I'm trying to go easy on myself as I face it all.

Do you hit the ground running or does change take a while to get used to?

Focus

Focus on the one thing rather than being pulled in all directions.

It is easy to flit from one thing to another, not focussing on anything. There are so many things out there that are good, that demand our time and attention. But what is the best? What is the one thing that is most important?

Where should your focus be?

Tunnels

If you're in a tunnel, keep going - there will be light at the end of it and you can't drift off course.

Contemplating

Contemplating a new thing - to leap or not to leap?

You know that feeling when you're looking at doing something that isn't in your comfort zone or necessarily your skill set? That's where I'm at. I feel like the girl in the top left of this page - peering through the bubbles and the tangled loops trying to make sense of it all and make a wise decision. Thankfully there is no rush so you can be sure I'm praying on it.

Trust yourself to the waters

Sometimes you just have to trust yourself to the waters.

For some reason I felt a real desire to put bulrush tops on the pink 'stalks' so I just went with it. It sent my thoughts to the story of Moses where his mother put him in a basket and trusted him to the waters as a baby to save his life. She had no idea what would happen, but she trusted.

There are times when we have no idea which way to go or what's going to happen. We just have to trust ourselves to the waters.

Temptation

Temptation is subtle.

I used this page to blot off some lime green paint. That made the two circles at top left and bottom right as the very first layer. I didn't realise when I added the piece of collage near the centre, several layers later, that there was a lime circle on it - a stylised apple. It wasn't until I stood back to think about the journalling that I saw it. 

For my Lent reading I have been working through the beatitudes and the sermon on the mount. They highlight, for me, how subtle temptation is: the temptation to self-aggrandizement, selfishness, pride, hubris, judgement, the list goes on. 

Temptation is not always obvious. 

It hardly ever is.

Anxious to plant

I'm anxious to start planting. My raised beds are being filled ready for planting, but I'm also ready to plant life seeds. We've had time to settle in here in this new place. I'm starting to get to know people. I'm looking at how I can serve in the future and what my place might be.

Wheels turning

Waiting for the wheels to turn.

I've just taken the plunge and sent an expression of interest to an exhibition space...

Now I'm waiting.

Will it be a thumbs up or a no thanks?

I'm old enough to know that one rejection doesn't mean I'm rubbish as an artist. I am more resilient than that. Still, it is hard to put yourself out there and then wait.