On Saturday morning I led a class in Biblical Meditation and Imaginative Prayer. It was only a couple of hours, but they were quite intense. This is the fourth or fifth women's retreat event I've led and I can feel the difference now.
At the first retreat I was nervous, I felt anxious standing in front of everyone, even though the group was fairly small. I could feel my voice shaking and I cut short the things I wanted to say because I felt so intensely uncomfortable. All I could think about was sitting down. I felt terribly exposed.
Through the progression of different events that I've led I have learned what I find more comfortable. For example, I prefer to sit with people around a table as I teach, with my laptop at an easy glance. I feel more confident if I write myself a whole script, even if I don't stick to it exactly. Smaller groups suit me better.
I wouldn't say that I don't get nervous anymore, but I am certainly a bit more laid back in that situation now. Through persevering in being obedient to what I feel called to do, I have grown. I have faced the fear and it has grown smaller :)