Noticing the difference

On Saturday morning I led a class in Biblical Meditation and Imaginative Prayer. It was only a couple of hours, but they were quite intense. This is the fourth or fifth women's retreat event I've led and I can feel the difference now.

At the first retreat I was nervous, I felt anxious standing in front of everyone, even though the group was fairly small. I could feel my voice shaking and I cut short the things I wanted to say because I felt so intensely uncomfortable. All I could think about was sitting down. I felt terribly exposed.

Through the progression of different events that I've led I have learned what I find more comfortable. For example, I prefer to sit with people around a table as I teach, with my laptop at an easy glance. I feel more confident if I write myself a whole script, even if I don't stick to it exactly. Smaller groups suit me better.

I wouldn't say that I don't get nervous anymore, but I am certainly a bit more laid back in that situation now. Through persevering in being obedient to what I feel called to do, I have grown. I have faced the fear and it has grown smaller :)

What do you want to blossom?

Another ten minute page. I'm busy on a bigger project at the moment so journalling is fitting in the gaps. The background was just from wiping off a brayer while doing gelli-prints. I added a stencilled flower which made me think about blossom. 

What do I want to blossom in my life this season? 

I need to know, because if I don't know what I want to grow, I won't know what seeds to plant. If I don't deliberately plant seeds, weeds will take over - I know because I've seen what happens in my garden :) 

How much more so if I'm not deliberate about growing my character? 

one step at a time

Do you ever find that everything you're reading, all your thoughts, everything you come across is telling you the same thing?

One step at a time. Take each small opportunity that moves you in the right direction and watch how growth happens almost imperceptibly.

Journal Fodder 365 - Prompt #6

This week's prompt is Operative Words - how do you highlight the essential words in your journalling so that you know what your page is about?

Well, as you can see from this, I tend to give my pages a 'headline' and then write my thoughts out in smaller script. This time the word came from one of the background papers I used. I wrote out the definition and then my thoughts on it, capitalising and boxing the important words. 

If I want to flourish I need to make sure I have some quiet time each day. It is essential to me. If my days are too full I lose energy. I need time to process change. Learning more about how introversion works in the last few months has helped me to understand how to create an environment in which I can flourish. 

What do you need to flourish? Do you make sure that you get it?

What's growing?

Sometimes things don't quite go how you expect. You teach a class or lead a retreat and the reactions aren't what you anticipated. Those are the times I have to remind myself that God is planting seeds that I don't know about. Just because things didn't go the way you planned doesn't mean that people didn't learn something or go away with new ideas. Sometimes we have to widen our horizons and realise that there are way more links being formed than we can even dream of. 

So don't sweat it when things go awry!

Here are some close-ups:

stamp embossed in white

I shall be linking this to Art Journal Every Day. Go check out what everyone else has been up to!

Fall fearless and fly - no. 1

Well, Carolyn and Jessica really threw us in at the deep end for the first challenge in this season. The three parts of the challenge were:

1 Headline - Inventing the Future: where do you want to be 5, 10, 15 years from now? What's holding you back/propelling you forward? What do you need to do/stop doing to create that future?

2 Colour - warm palette

3 Quote - "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." Abraham Lincoln

Well, the colours were no problem. I started with those and then was stumped. The page sat for a while as I thought about it. Then I spotted a darker arrow shape in middle of the page. I enhanced the colour with some ink. Now I was starting to get somewhere.

Then I thought about time moving on so the numbers came next across the top of the page.

I knew I wanted 'now' on one side of the arrow and 'then' on the other but it took a while for the image to come to me - a flower in bud and then open. I have been on a journey recently where I feel like a bud that has just started to open. I am looking forward to the time when I am fully blooming. For that to happen I need to 'let go and let God'. Thankfully, as Abraham Lincoln noted, the future comes one day at a time so the journey of change to become all that I can be doesn't have to happen overnight. The quote went in around the arrow.

(Apologies for the photo - I took half a dozen, but the colours are quite subtle and the details don't show up so well)

Now I'm off to see what everyone else has been up to. Looking forward to the next one :)

Seeing in the dark

When I acquire a new book to journal in - often a decommissioned library book selling for a dollar - the first thing I do is take out some pages if the book is quite thick. Then I cover the pages by either adding a layer of gesso, some masking tape, brown paper tape, pages from foreign-language books, collaged papers or images, or a combination of these things.

Occasionally I use black acrylic paint.

When I come to one of the black pages I often wonder why I did it. What was I thinking? What can I do with this page.

This time I was pleased to see that there were gaps in the black where I could put some colour. I went for a sunny yellow. The black didn't seem so bold then, and the strip of yellow down the middle meant that I ended up with two panels.

I thought about how we often focus on the dark rather than on the light that spills in around the edges, so that became the first panel.

With it being spring here in Australia, I have been planting some vegetable seeds. I thought about how they start to germinate in the dark - how they need the dark to germinate in a lot of cases. When we go through bleak times there is often something that germinates within us during that time. Something that we don't see the fruit of immediately.

So don't disregard the bleak times. Ask yourself where the light is spilling in and what is starting to grow in you.

I'll be linking this to Art Journal Every Day. Look forward to seeing you there!

Are you harvesting the crop you want?

If you want to grow oaks, you have to plant acorns.

Duh! Obviously, you say.

But we don't always think about this in terms of how we live our lives. We don't always think that if we look down on someone, then we will not be growing a friend. If we are mean and spiteful, why should we expect a crop of love in our lives? If we don't dream big, why should we expect miracles?

What are you planting?

Do you need to change your seeds?



And to change the subject entirely, hop on over to inspired.gumnut.net  where I was recently interviewed by Liz Powley.

Deep in the earth...

Had such trouble photographing these pages - the black really reflects the light even when you turn off the flash. Never mind...

I came to this page with a black background and groaned. I've done a few with black backgrounds lately - must have gone a bit mad when I was prepping the latest batch of books. I liked the golden yellow surround which reminded me of a sunny day. That got me thinking about the warmth of the sun working on the earth and seeds preparing to sprout up. I've been out working in the garden, so perhaps that's why my mind went in that direction.

Anyway, I thought of seeds sprouting in the dark while aiming to reach the sunlight. Much like when something new starts in our lives. At first it is all dark and quiet. The seed sits there while you ponder and prepare. Then the first root and shoot sprout. Everything is still dark, but you have some idea of what direction you need to push in. A bit more growth and you break through into the sunlight and can really get going.

What is sprouting up  in your life at the moment?