Word for the year

It has taken a while to find a word for the year, but after a lot of thought, stretch seems to be it.

I've spent time waiting, and time dreaming, and now it seems to be the time to stretch, step out of my comfort zone, and reach for the dreams.

Maybe I'll find that what feels like something solid standing in my way is merely bubbles.

I can let the fear stay forever solid in my mind and never move forward.

Or I can stretch out and reach through it, moving beyond what I think I can do…

…and flourish.

What's your word for 2014?

Noticing the difference

On Saturday morning I led a class in Biblical Meditation and Imaginative Prayer. It was only a couple of hours, but they were quite intense. This is the fourth or fifth women's retreat event I've led and I can feel the difference now.

At the first retreat I was nervous, I felt anxious standing in front of everyone, even though the group was fairly small. I could feel my voice shaking and I cut short the things I wanted to say because I felt so intensely uncomfortable. All I could think about was sitting down. I felt terribly exposed.

Through the progression of different events that I've led I have learned what I find more comfortable. For example, I prefer to sit with people around a table as I teach, with my laptop at an easy glance. I feel more confident if I write myself a whole script, even if I don't stick to it exactly. Smaller groups suit me better.

I wouldn't say that I don't get nervous anymore, but I am certainly a bit more laid back in that situation now. Through persevering in being obedient to what I feel called to do, I have grown. I have faced the fear and it has grown smaller :)

Journal Fodder 365 - Prompt #26

The prompt for this week is hopes and fears. 

I'm really pleased with the background in this. I just pasted down a few bits and pieces, gessoed, then scraped some acrylics - both liquid and thick - until it felt done. 

After that a bit of black stamping was needed. I knew the words 'hope' and 'fear' would be next and I wanted them writ large. They were a little lost so an added shadow dragged them out of the background. 

Then came the thinking part. What did the prompt bring up? 

I thought about the shadow cast by fear in contrast with the light of hope. I don't want to be chained in the shadow of fear, unable to move forward, living in the dark.

I want to move towards that light at the end of the tunnel, the flame of hope. 

I choose to live in the light.

Running

Our family watched Jack the Giant Slayer the other day. A jolly good romp. Something that the princess said near the beginning stayed with me. She said, "Why do you think I'm running away? Couldn't I be running towards something?" (Or words to that effect.)

It makes you think, doesn't it? If I am running away from something, that is usually fuelled by fear. There is no thought of where I'm going. The priority is simply to get away from where the danger is.

But if I am running towards something, there is a goal in mind, a direction to travel in. There is purpose and intention.

Wouldn't you rather run towards something?

So kick fear in the teeth and run full-pelt towards your dreams!

Don't be scared...

Who knows what trying will lead to? If you try and succeed you don't know which doors may open. There comes a point when not trying is scarier than failing. 

What will you try today?

I used gelli-print squares, gel medium resist, stamping, watercolours, and gesso. 

T is for Try

What or who encourages you to keep trying when things are difficult? What things stop you from trying?

I guess one of the biggest things that can stop you from trying is fear. What if I get it wrong? What if I can't do it? That's the point where Ray Bradbury's quote comes in. Don't think about trying something, just do it.  Tell yourself: 'I'm not going to try, I'm going to do.'

As to who encourages me - my husband is my biggest cheerleader. I have done so much more than I would have thought possible because he tells me I can do it.

Reverb 12 - day 14

I've been finding it difficult to keep up with a page a day for the Reverb12 challenge as it gets closer to Christmas. Some of the questions haven't resonated with me and a day isn't enough to ponder them and do a whole page. Today's page was done using minimal additions on a background I prepared a while ago and didn't know what to do with. I'm not really happy with it but wanted to get something done today.

So, today's question: What is the most important thing you learned in 2012? How does this learning shape the path going forward?

This really fits with 'what was the greatest risk you took' for me. In taking the risk to say yes to an invitation to speak in front of 50 people, I had to stand up to my fear of... well... standing up and speaking in front of people. In doing that I learned that fear is a bully. When we stand up to our fears they don't go away, but they stop having so much power over us. They're not quite so frightening any more.

Fear may stand in a narrow part of the path. We can either turn around and go another way, or stand up to it and move on through. It is a choice. As to how it will shape the path forward, I will be more courageous, taking on fear and facing it down.

More of Psalm 23 book

The top two pages have cut-outs that allow each side to show through. I'm already thinking that cut-outs are a pain in the neck! However, I am pushing on with them and hoping that the pages don't look too samey when they some of the same elements.

holy journey

Sometimes you get to journey the furthest by sitting still.

For a while now it felt like I was resting, waiting, sitting still. Now I find that I have actually been on a long journey.

A spiritual journey.

An internal journey.

By sitting still and waiting, not rushing into all sorts of things that I could be doing, an internal fear has been smashed and I have moved forward.

Are you taking time to sit still?

The valley of the shadow of death

How do you feel when the walls are closing in?

       ...when everything has gone dark?

       ...when the pressure is on?

       ...when in danger?

Your 'valley of the shadow of death' might not be life-threatening, but it still produces stress, fear, and worry. How comforting to know that we do not have to go through it alone. A few lines on in this psalm we will find that 'You are with me.'

Difficult things are always easier to face if there is someone with you. I feel so blessed to know that whatever I am facing, not only do I have my husband and daughter with me, but God is with me, holding my hand and taking away the fear. And when the fear persists, giving me the courage to do it anyway.

Thank You, Lord.

Know when you are finished

Sometimes I look at a page I have been working on and know that it needs some words on it. This time I was staring at this and thinking it's done. There's nothing else I feel I need to add.


How many times do we continue with something even when we have gone beyond the end of it?

There is a need to know when something is done. When it has come to the end of its life. I know that often in churches programmes go on even though they are no longer effective. Sometimes it is because so-and-so needs to feel that their gifts are being used, or 'if we stop this there will be nothing for such-and-such a group of people to do.' Or even 'we've always done this. It's tradition.' Are those good reasons to keep on with something that has so obviously done its time and is now finished?

Yes, it can be scary looking at doing a new thing - you don't know how well it will work, if at all. You don't know if anyone will support it. But that is no reason to keep on with something that is over and done.

We need to learn to end things well.

Brave

The dictionary defines bravery as being ready to face and endure danger or pain; to show courage.
Courage is 'the ability to do something that frightens one.'

Often we think of bravery as fearlessness, but this isn't correct.

Being brave isn't about not feeling fear. It is about doing something even though we fear it.

Bravery is about overcoming fear by facing it even if it will be painful or dangerous.

Bravery is about not letting fear stop you.

How are you going to be brave today?

Fear

Fear.

How large does it loom in your life?

The thing to remember about fear is that it throws a long shadow. We manage to let it grow to enormous proportions in our imagination.

But let me tell you something...

If you drag fear fully into the light - so that it is lit from all directions - it doesn't throw a shadow at all. You can look at it as it really is. You'll find that it isn't as big as you thought it was.

When you look at fear in the light of God, it's brought down to size.

Dive right in

You know how it is - the water is cold and you don't want to go in, really. You enter tentatively, inhaling involuntarily as the cold water climbs higher, each set of nerves being stimulated in turn by the low temperature. (Remember, I'm English, so I know what I'm talking about when I talk about cold seas, even though I'm living in these warm - haha! it's winter here - Australian climes at the moment.) Eventually your body gets used to it and it starts to feel OK.

Of course, there are some things we are called to do where there is no choice - it's dive right in at the
deep end or do nothing.

So what are you like when faced with something new? Do you immerse yourself slowly, getting each part of you used to the new temperature, as it were? Or are you one of those people who just dives right in, getting the shock over and done with quickly?

I have to admit, sometimes I need a push...